So, my aunt is looking for a groom for my cousin and this aunt (lets call her aanty) is pro-horoscope, pro-belief in god, pro-destiny etc. My cousin ( lets call her anshu), is pro-destiny. Now, the situation is like this. Both like to pray to the Gods, especially Krishna, whom they believe will keep them safe and out of trouble. So, recently there was this one boy that these people seemed to like. I have to emphasize the main point here: they have never seen the boy or spoken to him. But they like what is written by him and his parents on the matrimonial website, they like what others have had to say about the family and so they really really like this 'boy'. He's got a great job, he looks decent, no bad habits, as orthodox as my aanty's family blah blah. And his parents are very interested in the match too. The only problem is, his horoscope has a 'Dosham'. Apparently he will never have good luck. So this aanty of mine is postponing the actual talking with the boy.
It's pretty frustrating to see this happen to anshu. It's even more frustrating that she doesnt say anything. Anshu is supposed to a problem free horoscope, supposed to get a good groom too. HER horoscope says that. I could never find out if HIS horoscope said that too. Also, they never tell me what happens to people with these 'problem horoscopes'.
Anyway, after months of going over back and forth with this decision, aanty wants to give it up to the Gods and let them decide. Her plan is to write 'yes' and 'no' on a piece of paper and place it in front of the Krishna idol and then as some little child to pick one up randomly and go ahead with it without a second thought. BUT, the problem with Krishna according to her, is that he is a prankster and he would have his reasons for letting us know of a choice that may not end well for us. So finally, she cant trust in that God. So I told her that she should go to a 'less prankstery God' like Shiva (her next most prayed-to God). Anshu, amidst all this says, if it has to happen in some way then it will.
Really? That's it? You give up your entire life and blame/praise everthing to a supreme being? You think that this supreme being is going to pick out the right choice for you? You think that your entire life has been chalked out and no matter what you do it'll happen anyway if it is supposed to?
Have you ever heard of this story of a man who was very devoted and asked God to save him if he was in danger. It so happened that one day while on a boat, the boat started sinking, and our devotee asked God to help him. While he was neck deep in water he saw a fisherman swim toward him. The devotee shooed him away saying God will save him. finally, the man died. When he asked God in Heaven why he did not save him, God said I tried to but you shooed me away. How is aanty to know that this 'problem-horoscope' boy is NOT the right person for anshu?
In another light, how can there be such a thing called destiny? There is no way for us to know how things would have happened if we had chosen something quite different. And how does praying ever help 'reduce' the ill-effects of destiny? This is something that no theist would deny. If there are 2 survivors in a train accident and one is a prayerful person and the other is an atheist, the theist will tell the atheist that SOMEONE ELSE had prayed for him, or that it wasn't 'meant to be his time'. Agreed, there is no way that one can disproove this theory. In the same way, there is no way why twins, or babies born at the same time in the same place have different personalities, since ideally their horoscopes are the same.
Personally, I think God is just a name people have given to something so that they can put all their troubles on that, can keep away from solving their own problems by waiting till 'God' solves it for them, or even just keeping unexplainable things like why bad things have to happen to good people by saying 'God works in mysterious ways'. If there is a god then he is not going to show you the way, he is going to be with you while you make ur own way. He is not going to lead you to happiness, but he will be with you encouraging you to go on when you think there is no use. He gives you choices but he will not make the choice for you. You need to use your own rationale for that. And once you make your choice, if it does go wrong wrong then you need the guts to deal with it and not blame God. Infact, if you look at all this from the point of view of the big picture, having faith in God and having faith in oneself is the same thing. It all comes down to just having faith and a belief. It is these two things that give you the feeling of the existence of a God.
